About Chaotic Joy
I became a different person after my first kid was born.
Not in the Instagram way. Not the “my heart grew three sizes” way.
But in the “I don’t recognize my schedule, my body, or my partner, my oldest and closest relationships and friendships anymore” way.
I was a professional with ambitions, a fitness routine, a social and travel life, and opinions about work-life balance.
Then parenthood arrived and quietly dismantled all of it. Not dramatically. Just... steadily.
And here’s the thing nobody told me: “the chaos doesn’t stop. You just get better at finding the joy inside it.”
That’s the whole newsletter, really.
My name is Gourav.
I’m a software engineering leader by profession, a parent by surprise, and apparently now a writer by necessity: because I kept having realizations I needed to get out of my head before they disappeared into the noise.
I’m in my mid-30s. I have two kids, a partner, a demanding career, and a stubborn belief that fitness still matters even when life is loud.
I’m trying to stay present. Stay connected. Stay sane. Some weeks I nail it. Most weeks, I don’t.
I write about what I actually learnt the hard way, and honestly sometimes write what I want to learn.
Here’s why I started this.
I noticed something strange happening around 30. A quiet shift.
Suddenly I cared less about performing and more about understanding. Less about looking like I had it together, more about figuring out why I kept falling apart in the same places.
My relationship with myself changed so much and nobody warned me about it.
My idea of fitness had to be completely rebuilt. My definition of “a good day” was rewritten by a toddler who refused to sleep.
I started having real conversations. With friends who were also quietly losing their minds.
With myself, honestly, before the house woke up. And I started writing things down.
Not advice. Learnings. There’s a difference.
I’m not a therapist. Not a parenting expert. Not a wellness coach with a six-week program for you.
I’m a busy professional parent who reads too much, thinks too hard, get stressed often and occasionally swears when a work setback happens, when stocks fall too hard or when bedtime goes sideways.
That’s why, I write for the professionals who’s are like me - not defeated. :)
The parent who loves their kid deeply and also, sometimes, just needs everyone to be quiet for ten minutes. They want to build something passionately but also wanna get the life right.
Those who’re realizing that growing up doesn’t stop, it just gets more interesting.
If that’s you, you’re in the right place.
Chaotic Joy isn’t about fixing your life.
It’s about finding something worth smiling at inside the mess of it.
— Gourav
